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Health For Mzansi

‘I am an overcomer before I am a victim’

by Vuyile Madwantsi
2nd September 2021
in Conversations
Reading Time: 6 mins read
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HIV overcomer Tebogo Mothoana

Tebogo Mothoana talks candidly about his journey living with HIV and uses his online presence to break down the stigma, post by post. Photo: Twitter

Finding out you have HIV can be a shock. But a diagnosis should not deter you from living your life. The virus is followed by stigma and has a reputation for claiming lives. But through education, acceptance and a little understanding, decisive change is possible.

This is the view of HIV/AIDS activist Tebogo Mothoana, who recently went viral after sharing his testimony as a person living with HIV.

HIV/AIDS activist, Tebogo Mothoana. Photo: Twitter

The psychology student from Bloemfontein says that he had gone for a routine check-up when he was diagnosed with the virus.

LISTEN: Activist speaks candidly about living with HIV

He was 25. “It was just routine healthcare testing; I had the flu and had a terrible headache. The results changed my perception of the world forever.

“When you go to the clinic when you suspect something is wrong, you prepare yourself mentally, but when you go innocently, it’s a different story.”

By the time of his diagnosis, the virus had progressed. “I discovered I had HIV and it had progressed to AIDS. My immune system was severely compromised, as evidenced by my CD4 count, which was 175.”

A CD4 count (cluster of differentiation 4) is typically reported as a count of cells (cells per cubic millimetre of blood).

Living in stigma

“I remember standing there, afraid and unable to move or process because I had not prepared myself for this reality.”

He says HIV isolates you. and it makes you feel alone.

“HIV is a very stigmatised disease.” 

“It takes that feeling of belonging away from you. And you are constantly flooded with thoughts that you will never be loved again. I wasn’t sure how I would deal with it or how I would go about living. My reality now was that I was hosting a deadly virus that everybody fears.”

He found his own comfort by reaffirming himself. “The most pivotal conversation I had with myself was when I told myself there is life after testing positive for HIV.

“I had a mantra where I would tell myself, ‘It’s ok, I will get through this.’ I know it sounds a bit cliché, but it got me through the most difficult times of my life.”

I was not diagnosed with HIV but rather Aids. With a life threatening CD4 count of 175, I was close to losing the fight. Conquering the fight against AIDS remains my greatest victories. I will never stop boasting about it. Pulling myself from that pit, is my greatest milestone.

— Donovan (@_kingMufaz) July 15, 2021

A dramatic shift

The diagnosis meant that he was forced to re-evaluate his life. “Because I was infected with HIV and AIDS, I knew I had to make changes, no matter how unpleasant they were.

“My way of life shifted dramatically. I had to give up a lot of things, including drinking and smoking, which was something my doctors advised me to do because I was also diagnosed with tuberculosis at the time,” he says.

“I ended up joining the gym because the doctors warned me that the treatment would cause me to gain weight, so it was critical that I adopt a healthy lifestyle, including jogging, to keep my health in check.”

Dietary changes included a lot of vegetables and water. “I was advised that drinking plenty of water is critical because ARVs are potent medications that can harm your kidneys if not properly hydrated. It is critical to include water in your diet because water helps regulate and maintain our health.

“Healthy food was in check since my mother was highly involved in taking care of me and making sure that I was healthy,” he says.

Mothoana says that living a healthy lifestyle is now second nature to him. “It took some time for me to adjust to my new lifestyle, but I can confidently say I have everything under control now,” he says triumphantly.

Support was crucial

He says that support is top tier when it comes to the healing journey. “I needed direction on how to navigate these changes. Even though I rely on myself for most things, I needed help because some things in life are too difficult to face alone.”

His mom was very supportive in his time of need. “She has been a pillar of strength throughout this journey,” he says.

“Share when you’re ready, the world is unkind. I didn’t disclose my status to the rest of my family until I was ready.”

Thank God we don't look like what we are going through❤🏳️‍🌈 pic.twitter.com/bghGLoAl7N

— Donovan (@_kingMufaz) August 5, 2021

“The problem in disclosing your status for external validation or acceptance is that you might encounter a setback because the world won’t accept you the way you are,” Mothoana cautions.

“The moment you do not fit into what society defines as correct, you are labelled and placed into a category that restricts your identity as an individual,” he adds.

Failed by a cold healthcare system

Mothoana believes the HIV counselling offered at the time of diagnosis feels scripted and impersonal, and that at a time when people most need support.

“A person’s life changes dramatically when they learn they have HIV. The treatment they will have to undergo, the side effects they may experience, the dietary adjustments and their overall lifestyle will all alter dramatically because of the news they receive; therefore, it is crucial how this conversation is manueuvered,” he says.

Safe sex practices, PREP (post-exposure prophylaxis), a treatment plan and support groups are conversations that we need to normalise.  

I hate the saying "use a condom, abantu bayagula". People living with HIV are not sick. HIV is not a sickness, it's a virus that weakness your immune system, therefore making you prone to opportunistic diseases such a TB. Stop saying we're sick. We're not sick.

— Donovan (@_kingMufaz) September 2, 2021

“Normalising these conversations can help reduce or lower the likelihood of contracting the virus and spreading it unknowingly.” 

He advises that it is important to have someone to talk to or go to therapy but the more you talk about it the less alone you feel, ready to take on life again. “Do not rush to be okay, healing is a process. Today you might be fine, tomorrow you take ten steps backwards but ultimately you will be fine.”

ALSO READ: The thing about grief – to overcome you must face it

Tags: HealthHIV/AIDSTebogo Mothoana
Vuyile Madwantsi

Vuyile Madwantsi

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HIV and initiation: Supporting boys through cultural rites Security fails as gangs target Eastern Cape clinics Dr Makanya blends spiritual healing with art therapy Canola oil: A heart-healthy choice for your kitchen No more pain! Tackle the torment of toothaches How smoking causes harmful bacteria in your mouth Discover delicious, healthy dishes that will make your heart sing Rediscover the joy of creamy pap with chicken livers