In a culture saturated with sexually explicit media, negligence, and poor living conditions, children are left to navigate their own sexual development with little to no guidance. This results in a dangerous mix of misinformation, peer pressure, and uninformed experimentation. At the heart of the matter lies the innocence of childhood, where young minds are like sponges, soaking up everything, good or bad, they are exposed to.
Lack of affection
For Siphokazi Mpofu, a social activist and author from East London, Eastern Cape, the lack of affection during her childhood may have contributed to social challenges, such as being exposed to sex at an early age.
She recalls being well cared for by her grandmother – bathed, well-fed, and dressed nicely – but emotional affection was absent.
“Having to seek love from the streets resulted from that. I accepted whatever type of affection I could find in the streets.”
Mpofu adds that as she has grown older, she now understands the origins of these challenges. For those who have never experienced affection at home, it can be difficult to demonstrate something they have not known to their own children.
“I got pregnant at 15, and I believe if things were spoken with me, it wouldn’t have happened. I needed to understand what was at stake rather than relying on the street theory.”
Siphokazi Mpofu
According to Mpofu, some children living with caregivers who can’t properly care for them, are more vulnerable to predators.
She notes that an unstable home environment, especially with guardians on substance abuse, can expose children to sexual content by accident. “For example, if parents are alcoholics or drug users, they might engage in sexual activities in front of the children, which is a significant societal issue.”
Neglect, Mpofu adds, is another factor that destroys children’s futures.
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Grooming young ones
Sisa Nobanda, founder of the Qula Kwedini youth initiative in KwaLanga, Cape Town, ensures that consent topics are regularly discussed in their dialogues.
“Understanding consent, whether it involves sexual content or not, plays a crucial role in helping them unlearn misconceptions.”
Sisa Nobanda
He says caregivers have the responsibility to protect children from exposure to inappropriate content they may not be ready for.
Even when providing children with cellphones, they need to be supervised to ensure they are shielded from such material, Nobanda adds.
Living with the perpetrator
Thenjiwe Ngcobo, founder of Incema NPO based in Pietermaritzburg, KwaZulu-Natal, says according to their studies, children who have been raped often expose each other to sex because they do not understand that the act is inappropriate.
“Most children go through sexual grooming, they are groomed by people they trust and they tend to normalise the grooming process, then show their friends.”
Ngcobo adds that when these sexual violations occur, children are too young to understand what is right and wrong, and they end up not reporting them.
“Even when they know something isn’t right, it is not easy to open up when the perpetrator is sharing the same roof.”
Thenjiwe Ngcobo
She further explains that guardians have a lot of work to do to ensure children are safe and heal from their past traumas.
“By amplifying the voices of survivors and their families, Incema drives meaningful action to address the root causes of sexual violence and create safer communities for all.”
Advocating for children’s safety
Ngcobo says when Incema was established in 2014, its primary goal was to prevent the perpetuation of sexual and gender-based violence by addressing the root causes of harmful behaviours in children.
Through psycho-social support, counselling, and behavioural interventions, Incema empowers children to overcome trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
“Many children who exhibit inappropriate sexual behaviours have experienced abuse or exploitation themselves, highlighting the urgent need for specialised support and intervention,” Ngcobo explains.
Partnerships with government agencies, NGOs, and community stakeholders are needed to keep children safe.
Get help here
- Childline: 0800 055 555
- Department of social development: 0800 220 250
- South African National Child Rights Coalition: 012 430 7772/5
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