Some pain is just too much to bear and too much to talk about with others. For some, surviving a rape is overwhelming leading to unspoken trauma. Some scars remain hidden, and sometimes the effects show in destructive behaviours. Health For Mzansi journalist Vateka Halile speaks to two survivors who reveal their long journeys to healing.
Invisible wounds
In 2010 Zintle Mayekiso from Gqeberha was gang-raped. It would take her many years to finally open up about her trauma.
She tells Health For Mzansi that when she was nine years old, she and her sister were new at the school, which had a diverse group of students. Unfortunately, they experienced abusive behaviour from two girls who made their lives difficult.
“Things took a turn during an event where we were given goodie bags. I was lucky enough to receive one, but they didn’t. This led to me being beaten up for refusing to give them my goodie bag,” Mayekiso explains.

She says they informed their mother, who went to the school to confront the situation. After a few weeks, they thought the abuse had ended. However, they were unaware of the horror that was about to unfold.
One quiet afternoon, while walking home and passing by a squatter camp they regularly passed, Mayekiso was confronted by her two abusers and a group of boys waiting for her.
“They gang-raped me while these two girls watched. I believe I passed out from the trauma and woke up much later.”
Zintle Mayekiso
Her family was desperately searching for her during this time. “But they threatened me, saying if I ever spoke about it, they would kill my family,” she adds.
“I became isolated and angry with myself while struggling to not hate men.”
Breaking the silence
The rape left deep, lasting scars, including untreated sexual infections that later escalated, along with anger and trust issues.
Mayekiso says the pain of seeing her family struggle to understand what had been troubling her for so long weighed heavily on her.
She only found the courage to speak out after the loss of her sister in 2019. At the time, she contemplated suicide.
“I wanted to end everything once and for all. Counselling felt like an unreachable option for me.”
Mayekiso says she had accepted what happened to her and never saw the need to go for counselling
She adds, “I’m now in a better place. I know I need to forgive. I’m a happy person now, but some pains are just too much to carry on your own.”
Unfortunately, the perpetrators have never been brought to justice for the rape.
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Behind closed doors
Zikhona Madubela, the founder and CEO of In2Change Learning based in Cape Town, says she was just eight years old when her cousin, ten years her senior, allegedly raped her on multiple occasions.
She explains that in their village home, everyone grew up together, including her cousin, whom she affectionately referred to as ubhuti (cousin brother).
“I was a bubbly child. I don’t know how he silenced that bubbliness in me, but he did,” she says.
“Ubhuti was a very loving man – he would take care of me, carry me on his back, and all that.”
Zikhona Madubela

Madubela says she doesn’t know what led to him raping her and it happened on many occasions. She explains that while she wasn’t living at the family home full-time, the abuse made her dread visiting.
Over time, she changed from a lively, bubbly child to someone low-spirited and withdrawn. She also shares how, even with her peers, she would say she wasn’t a virgin and had experience but never revealed the truth behind it.
Zikhona Madubela says her cousin was deeply loved by everyone, especially her mother.
Speaking out after 25 years
Madubela tells Health For Mzansi that she only spoke up about the abuse 25 years later, at the age of 33.
“This happened after attending a mindfulness workshop. Everything surfaced, and I first spoke to my counsellor, then my aunt and sisters, and finally wrote my mom a letter.”
She says her family supported and believed her, which made her healing journey easier.
When asked why it took so long to come forward, Madubela explains, “I didn’t have the courage to break out of that shell. It was something I held onto until it started showing up in my life in different ways.”
She describes struggling with trust issues and insecurities and building a strong emotional wall to protect herself.
“The victim mentality kept telling me that if I opened up about this, I might ruin our happy, healthy family.”
Madubela notes that she had been in therapy from a young age, as it was encouraged at school to help her manage her anxiety.
She explains that her cousin has been avoiding the family ever since the truth came out about four years ago. “He has been on the run, staying away from the family, and hasn’t sought reconciliation or asked for forgiveness,” she says.
Despite her past, Madubela says she has overcome the pain and trauma and now lives a fulfilling life surrounded by her supportive family.
The weight of unspoken trauma
Educational psychologist Sandile Radebe, based in KwaZulu-Natal, says communities need to be well-informed about all forms of abuse. This awareness can help people identify abuse, take appropriate action, and know where to seek help, ensuring victims can access justice.
Radebe notes that some people remain in abusive situations, such as rape, due to financial dependence on the abuser, who might be the breadwinner.
“In some cases, abuse happens to young people who don’t even realise what’s being done to them is wrong. They often lack the vocabulary to speak out.”
He adds that some abusers offer young people incentives, which can make the victims appear complicit.
“When these young people eventually speak out, you’ll often hear the community say, ‘They were close; the child is lying.’ The closeness is often due to the incentives, not because the victim enjoyed the abuse.”
Sandile Radebe
Never too late to seek support
Radebe explains that victims often use repression as a way to cope with their experiences.
“Repression is when someone pushes traumatic events out of their conscious mind, sometimes for years, as a way to survive emotionally,” he says.
However, he emphasises that it’s never too late to seek counselling. “Acknowledging childhood trauma is not about shame; it’s about recognising what happened and taking steps toward healing.”
Get help here:
- Childline national office: 031 201 2059
- Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0800 567 567
- Healthcare Workers Care Network Helpline: 0800 21 21 21; SMS 43001
- South African Depression and Anxiety Group (Sadag): 011 234 4837