Smelly in the City from Cape Town writes…
This is likely the most awkward question I think you have ever received, but I really need help. My boyfriend of 10 years and I have a child together and run our own edibles business together.
I love him, and he brings me so much joy, but this man refuses to take a shower. This has been an issue for the majority of our relationship, and it has affected our sex life. He is an amazing father to our son, but I fear his hygiene habits may be rubbing off on our kids. I have tried many creative ways to get him to get clean, but he just won’t budge! Please help.
My Dearest Smelly
I want us to try a different approach. Instead of pointing out your grievances with his haphazard shower schedule, try to ask him why he is neglecting his hygiene.
I am afraid that your boo’s sub-par hygiene habits could be indicative of much larger problems related to his mental health or even from his past.
One of the worst things about mental illness is how it creeps into so many parts of your life and affects even the most mundane of things like showering or even brushing your teeth.
Good hygiene has many benefits that prevent disease and help us care for our bodies. A lot of the time we associate poor hygiene with undignified human experiences like poverty, laziness, and homelessness. We discriminate against it and fail to see or believe that there could be a deeper root cause. Forgoing common hygiene practices could be a physical sign that a person is having trouble mentally or emotionally.
He must learn to identify his distorted thoughts and adjust. He may not ever be a man in Axe advertisements but with some professional help, he can learn to make more clean and clear decisions.
Have you tried showering with him? It could motivate him to get clean if you’re there to entice him. Good luck!
ALSO READ: Men’s Dialogue for Mental Health brings hope
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Write to Liewe Lulu
Liewe Lulu is Food For Mzansi’s agri agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
