Side piece from Muldersdrift in Gauteng writes…
I met my soulmate nearly four years ago. While it was not love at first sight for me, I somehow grew to love him. He was adamant in his perusal of me, I got to know him, and he has just knocked me off my feet. He is very kind, sweet, and driven and runs his own business as a beef farmer. But the trouble is, Lulz, the love of my life has a wife.
Before I started dating him I used to swear to myself that I would never date a married man and now here I am so in love and caring for this man whose heart and flesh belong to another. When we started dating, I used to get all his attention, I was spoiled and felt like he was truly mine.
We have even been gifted a beautiful two-year-old child whom he supports financially but lately does not make time for. Things have kind of become weird in the relationship. Before, he put me first, could not wait to spend time with me, and could not keep his hands off me.
Lulu, now I am lucky to get a phone call from him. When we do have plans, he cancels last minute because his friends invited him out for drinks.
I am beginning to lose trust in his love and promises because he does not live up to them lately. I suspect he wants out but will not say it because he now hardly makes time to see me. We talk on the phone once in a while, but I have since stopped calling him. As a baby mama, I also honestly cannot and will not force him to spend time with his child. Every time I suggest we part ways, he refuses. I am tired of fighting and forcing, how do I end things?
My dearest Side piece
Ah, and so, it happened, a woman met a man, and the earth stopped. The conversations were rich, the sex even richer. Since she met him her feet did not touch the ground. Was this love, she wondered?
A dark cloud plagues their blissful love bubble. She is not the only one.
His life is… complicated. And so she makes it “better”. Drunk on words she makes the decision to take ownership of a label that would make the old church ladies blush. “The OTHER woman.”
With this new label, she must be easy, free, amicable, and silent.
What a load of rubbish. Nothing glamorous about being a side piece, right?
I am happy you want out; you and your child deserve better. With your last shreds of dignity and all the poise you can muster, be firm in your decision to end your involvement in his infidelity.
His words may be as smooth as honey dripping down your ear canal, but they are all lies and have created a bit of an ant problem.
This man was in all two relationships at the same time, one that was exciting, new, and fresh and the other with someone he has a history with and memories with. Someone he was committed to.
He has clearly made his choice. Make things easier for him by cutting the cords of communication. All communication will be focused on your child, nothing more.
Don’t settle for scraps
The truth is the man you fell in love with was only a portion of the whole man. Affairs never have the best outcome for any of the parties involved. Someone will always pull the short stick and end up screwed. In this case, that person is you.
And the hard truth is men will embarrass you! Your sweet, kind man has begun to unmask himself by actively showing you that, compared to his wife, you and your child are second fiddle. You were once his escape, be your own now.
Why settle for crumbs when you deserve your own cake?
Breathe and listen to Liewe Lulu. Let him deal with his complicated life, you do the same for your sake and your child’s.
Write to Liewe Lulu
Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.