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Health For Mzansi

Liewe Lulu: ‘I’m 35, single and have lost hope’

Every week Liewe Lulu will offer up her shoulder to cry on as she answers letters flooding in from across Mzansi. No issue is too small or too big, the no-holds-barred agony aunt has got plenty of tissues

by Noluthando Ngcakani
3rd February 2023
in Liewe Lulu
Reading Time: 3 mins read
A A
Liewe Lulu receives a letter from a heartbroken friend who does not know what is next for her life. Photo: Health For Mzansi

Liewe Lulu receives a letter from a heartbroken friend who does not know what is next for her life. Photo: Health For Mzansi

All Hope Lost from Bloemfontein writes…

Liewe Lulu, I am 35, have no kids and live with my parents. I am a nurse and happy in my job despite the challenges. I have friends and I’m content not dating at the moment. I, however, feel like a failure. I recently got an invite to my high school reunion and the thought of having to share details of my pathetic life with my former classmates scares me. I have always been ambitious. I really thought I would make something of myself, build a thriving career, study medicine, have a husband and children of my own. My parents are both disabled and elderly and need live-in care and it helps that I live with them. I pay for their monthly expenses, including medical aid, medication and groceries. How can I convince myself that I have not wasted my life?

My Dearest Hopeless…

Bathong Darlie, not you a whole saver of lives feeling like you’ve wasted your life? Jho, you make Liewe Lulu want to crawl into her screen so she can grab you by the shoulders because you are a freaking angel and your life has so much value.

via GIPHY

Maybe you haven’t reached the high standards you set for yourself when you were younger but you are being tough on yourself calling yourself a failure. You have one of the most challenging jobs, great family and friends.

You say you are content with remaining single. I am assuming that this is because some past relationships did not work out. If I am correct, please do me a favour and stay open-minded. Bathong, love is such a beautiful thing when you find the right one. You are 35, you are young. You can meet the right lover at any age, and they will care about you, appreciate you, and see value in you.

How you can eliminate those self-defeating, negative feelings would be to pour a little love into the things you have achieved. These achievements are not shortcomings. Comparison is a killer of confidence. You are you and that is what makes you special. Please don’t make me jump into the online sphere to shake you hle…Love and  light Ngwana ko gae.

ALSO READ: Liewe Lulu: ‘Summer makes my hair dry’

Write to Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.

Tags: careerfailurenurse
Noluthando Ngcakani

Noluthando Ngcakani

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