Missing The Hints from Barberton, Mpumalanga writes…
I never thought that marriage and children were on the cards for me. But here I am four years later, married to a man nine years older than me with a teenage son. Married life has been challenging; adding the pressure to conceive a child of our own makes it even more taxing.
The delay in trying for a baby has cast doubts on my ability to conceive and impacted my feelings for my husband. I find myself not feeling sexually attracted to him any longer. I moonlight as a nurse and I am 33 years old.
My stepson is on the autism spectrum, he is very bright, sweet and loving. When he is overwhelmed in public, I find myself struggling to handle him. I sort of feel like the odd woman out in my home. My husband is also on the spectrum. I am hoping a baby will bring balance but I worry that our child will be like them. I am also bipolar and prefer drinking alcohol on occasion and THC over the heavy pills prescribed to me. Maybe I am deluding myself into thinking that I could ever be a good mom. Love is supposed to unconditional but I was raised in a household where love was very much conditional. I don’t feel worthy or ready. How do I bring up this conversation with my husband?
My dearest Hints
Please take care of your mental health first, babes.
Your husband deserves a wife who is attracted to him. Your stepchild deserves all of your love and more. And most of all, you deserve some tenderness and self-love too.
Any future child you may have, deserves a mother who is properly medicated and who is prepared to accept them unconditionally.
Bringing a child into this world is not the answer if you are not prepared mentally. Your marriage is also something I suspect that you were never really prepared for. Might I suggest that you urgently seek counselling and put your plans for parenthood on the back burner, and take care of your own mental health? There are a lot going on in your life and you need help.
You are worthy of unconditional love and it starts with getting the proper medication. Dr Jacky Jenkins says untreated bipolar disorder can be very dangerous to your health if you do not seek and maintain treatment.
Learning to love yourself can be a major challenge while trying to balance the extremes of bipolar disorder. It’s hard to keep up with the demands of a bipolar brain. It can be frustrating and discouraging.
Love yourself enough to get stabilised.
You are enough.
You are important.
You are worthy.
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Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
