Under wraps from Pietermaritzburg writes…
Liewe Lulu
I met my fiancé at university 10 years ago. At the time he was the father of a daughter who he thought was his. He loved “Mbali”, and would show her off everywhere he went, and would always post pictures of them having daddy-daughter time on his social media.
When Mbali turned eight, her mother finally confessed and told him that she was not his daughter. When a DNA test proved it was true, the sh*t hit the fan. Not only had the mother known from the start that he wasn’t the father, but it turns out that his friends and family knew all along. It took a while for him to get over the shock. Once he did, he decided he wanted to start a family.
He proposed and we welcomed a son. I have never been unfaithful, but to remove any doubt we did do a DNA test. He is an amazing father but acts a little strange. Before we welcomed our son, only a few key people knew we were expecting. He said it was because he didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up in case anything went wrong. I understood. But now our baby is five months old, and he still insists on keeping him a secret. He has no interest in taking family pictures and doesn’t post him on his social media like he did with Mbali.
He has asked me and his family to keep our son a secret and gets mad every time he sees me or his mother tag him in pictures on social media. When I asked why he was acting this way, he said it was because our child is “nobody’s business”. I love him, and I understand that he was hurt once, but I’m starting to wonder. Is my fiancé ashamed of our child?
My dearest Wraps
I don’t think your man is ashamed of your child. He went through a situation that is extremely traumatic.
I suspect that he may be being overly careful about the news of his baby because he was burned once before. He was a proud father once and now seems to have gone in the opposite direction. Not without reason.
This has nothing to do with the blessing that you have gifted him with. This could possibly have everything to do with the Wicked Witch who bamboozled him.
Have you thought for a second that he might be scared that his ex might find out that he had another child with a woman who loves him? I mean don’t get me wrong, I am not all the way there with this secrecy thing and I don’t for a second think that it is healthy.
I do think you should talk to him about maybe consulting a licensed psychologist who will help him regain his balance.
Write to Liewe Lulu
Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
