Brush Off from Pretoria writes…
I have been friends with a girl I met at university for four years. We speak and see each other frequently. I have some issues with her personality that I am trying to deal with. In all my years of knowing her, I have noticed that she doesn’t seem to brush her teeth at night. I finally mustered up the courage to ask her about her dental hygiene and she said that up until high school she never really brushed her teeth often.
Now she brushes in the morning and chews a piece of gum in the evening to make her breath smell fresh. I am really into dental hygiene. Brushing, flossing, mouthwash, I have a whole night-time routine. Even with all her other issues, her bad dental practice is the one that has really sent me over the edge. I am currently working towards my qualifications in dentistry. I just cannot believe someone could be so irresponsible. Should I just let it go? Should I say something? She is not a person who can particularly handle criticism very well or my advice. I am at a loss for words…
My dearest Brush
Bathong, what is really eating you, sweetie? I mean Miss Momma is brushing her teeth before she goes out into the world and breathes on people, so I don’t see how her habits are affecting you at all. If you are her friend, you will appreciate the fact that she already has made a change to improve her oral hygiene.
BFFR. Could you possibly be struggling with her personality and hoping that this conversation about her poor oral practice will create some distance between the two of you?
I mean we have all had our fair share of toxic people dust us with their poison. But focus on the root issues in your friendship that need to be addressed. The teeth thing is a cop out. Be honest about your feelings towards her and decide if you still want to be friends with her and move on.
Instead of insulting someone or blaming them, take accountability for how you feel and why you want to end the friendship. You can tell someone what you do appreciate about them and that you wish them well. Avoid this unnecessary messiness.
Write to Liewe Lulu
Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
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