Frustrated in Sleep from Kimberley writes…
My husband and I have been married for five years. We get along great and have an amazing physical relationship, and truly love spending time together. One problem though we do not share the same bedroom…
When we first got together, we tried but I hardly ever got any sleep and was always exhausted. We finally realised that we just aren’t a couple that sleeps together. He snores and sleeps with the TV on. I need silence and total darkness.
I have tried sleeping masks and earplugs, but this has not worked. We sleep together when we travel, but because I am a nurse, I sometimes get up early and sometimes get home very late, so I have to sleep alone. We are perfectly fine with this arrangement; the problem is our families think that it is odd and insist that a married couple must sleep together no matter what. It is leading to a bit of conflict. Please help.
My dearest Frustrated
I am here for all of the progression! It is 2022 and it’s about damn time that we make our own rules in our relationships.
I guess there is a “cardinal rule” that says that there is a special kind of intimacy that comes from sharing a bed or bedroom. But there is no law that demands that couples have to do it!
When your spouse’s sleep hygiene and habits are as contrasting as yours are, it should be beneficial for you to sleep separately. Your families should respect your choices and mind their business! I am a total STAN for your arrangement. I am a little concerned that there is conflict brewing though, especially coming from the outside.
The more conflicts you have with your spouse, the more likely you are to argue, fight, and not be happy with your marriage. Nip it in the bud. Try listening to his perspective with an open mind. Again communicate, have a healthy debate about the pros and cons of your sleeping arrangement for as long as you need to until the conflict is resolved. Or at least until you reach some kind of a compromise.
ALSO READ: Sleeping next to someone promotes peaceful slumber
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Write to Liewe Lulu
Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
