Podcast: Exploring the toxic reality of living with an addict

Living with an addict and watching firsthand how they are destroying their lives can be hell. Thifhidzi Tshivase shares his experience of witnessing his friend's demise while trying to save him

In this week’s Health For Mzansi podcast we delve into the rollercoaster of emotions of living with someone that is an addict. To reflect on his story and journey, we chat to Thifhidzi Tshivase who found himself in this position in 2021.

Tshivase who is a rental sales specialist in Johannesburg, recalls relocating from Cape Town as he was urgently looking for accommodation and a place of employment. He soon found employment and arranged to share accommodation in his friend’s home for the time being.

Tshivase soon realised that all was not well, and his friend was not the person he knew. He identified certain behaviours that were becoming the norm.

Here are some of the warning signs:

Exhaustion.
He missed his mother’s birthday (lack of interest).
Late for his appointment with his son.
Neglected his home and starved his pets.
Stealing.
Constantly blaming other people (lack of responsibility and accountability).
He became suicidal.

Tshivase describes the experience of living with a friend who is an addict as eventful and traumatic, as he witnessed firsthand the physical abuse his friend imposed on his partner as a result of the drug consumption, and the emotional abuse and manipulation imposed on family members. Tshivase also admits feeling a great deal of shame living in this environment. So much so that he never invited family or friends to visit him, to avoid questions or judgement.

Being in this situation, one might take on the saviour role, explains Tshivase, as you want to see the person better themselves and the people around them.