For many, name-calling is more than just words – it’s a stigma that lingers, shaped by skin colour, physical traits, or cultural background. While some brush it off, for others, it’s a painful reminder of being “different” and not quite fitting in. It can have a devastating impact on your mental health.
These labels leave lasting scars, influencing how people see themselves and interact with the world, turning a simple insult into something far more damaging.
Making peace with your identity
A Cape Town filmmaker, Chigozie Okoro, born to a South African mother and a Nigerian father, grew up feeling like her identity was more of a target than a blessing. Her Igbo name, in particular, often became a source of hurtful remarks.
“They made me feel ashamed,” Okoro says. “Their words changed how I saw myself. There was a time in my life when I felt disgusted with who I was. I felt dirty, unworthy of living, and like a complete disgrace.”
Chigozie Okoro
She explains that this experience is common among her peers, where people often feel pressured to abandon their identities to meet societal expectations.
Looking back, she says, “I used to hate my name, Chigozie, which means ‘a blessing from God’ in Igbo.”
Okoro says she is at peace with who she is, and for those who still see her as different because she’s a multicultural kid, their views no longer have a place in her life.
“But thanks to my family and friends, I learned to embrace it. Now, I navigate life without worrying about what people think of me or their opinions because they don’t define me.”
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Rising above labels
For Cwenga Nomnganga, an artist from Ngcobo in the Eastern Cape, being called ‘inkawu’ or ‘Ingxashana’ (derogatory terms used to label people living with albinism) is a painful reminder of the challenges he faced growing up with albinism.
“It has been difficult to see how these labels were condoned rather than reprimanded,” he says. “But there were, and still are, people who stood up against these differences, and that gave me the confidence to become the person I am today.”
He explains that being called ‘inkawu’ (monkey) left a lasting impact, as he would look at monkeys and see no difference between them and himself.
“That’s the damage of these stereotypical labels – they breed self-doubt,” he adds.
“I believe I now have anger issues because I’m used to defending myself.”
Cwenga Nomnganga
Nomnganga grew up being told he would never join the other boys at the traditional initiation school because of his condition, and that he would be circumcised in a hospital instead – additional insults he endured.
“I fought to go to the initiation school. Many were amazed at the confidence I had to push against these differences.”
Body shaming at its core
Being called “sdudla” (fat) as a child used to hurt, says a feminist Nontuthuzelo Jolingana-Meyi from Gqeberha in the Eastern Cape.
She explains that while she never felt different at home, where everyone was big, the label of sdudla from her peers and the community outside was a painful reminder of her difference.
“Younger me had issues, but I then learnt how to reclaim the name and remove all the power attached to it,” she says.
By the time she hit secondary school, Jolingana-Meyi had regained her confidence. “I used to get worked up and want to educate people, but I realised that ignorance is bliss.
“When you try to educate people, they feel like you’re ‘woke’ or that you’re stopping them from exercising their freedom of speech.”
Nontuthuzelo Jolingana-Meyi
She further notes that it’s still prevalent on social media, where people project how they feel about themselves onto others.
“There’s got to be something wrong with you if you get satisfaction from seeing other people hurt,” she says.
Self-acceptance without shame
An educational psychologist in private practice, Sandile Radebe from KwaZulu-Natal, explains that in stereotypical families, labels and name-calling are normalised.
When people try to reject them, communities often reinforce them, he says.
“Some accept these labels, while others turn to substance abuse to numb the feelings caused by the differences normalised by those around them.”
Radebe shares his own experience of being called uKhandakhulu (big head) growing up, and as a skinny person, this added another layer to the labels.
“Even now, as an adult, I’m cautious of myself. I tend to avoid sitting in the front row; imagine a psychologist invited to speak at events.”
Sandile Radebe
A former colleague noticed his struggles, asking, “Why are you always shunning yourself?” This led Radebe to seek help, proving that even after years of healing, labels can still cause harm.
“Some become bullies as a way of protecting themselves from others, especially in the workplace.”
He notes that some people become isolated, developing anger and always ready to defend themselves, even when unnecessary. These are examples of the aftermath of name-calling and bullying.
Radebe says there’s no shame in seeking counselling to break down these labels and reclaim your identity.
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