Dr Sneaky from Johannesburg writes…
Liewe Lulu
I am 27 and have been dating a 35 year-old married doctor for three years. I know the side chick is always seen as evil and portrayed as a witch who wants to steal the husband, but I don’t want that. I am independent and make my own money. Apart from working as an intern in the same hospital as him, I also run my own business.
I am not after the money or a title. I enjoy his company and feel free to be myself around him. He is wise, gets me and is also a mentor to me. There are no expectations and he always inspires me to reach my goals. Also the sex is so hot. My friends think that I am being an idiot and that I am settling and deserving of so much more.
I don’t think I have it in me to handle a conventional relationship. He is a father of four and has cheated on his wife before me.
My Dearest Dr Sneaky
Now honey, you make some very compelling points for Liewe Lulu to consider, but your friends are right, you deserve so much better. Liewe Lulu is never one to judge a grown ass woman about her business but she would be doing you a disservice if she didn’t let you sip from her cup of hot steamy reality checks.
You ready?
I think you are being selfish. While you might see this as a victimless crime, it isn’t really, is it? There’s a lot of lives that are on the firing line here, these include his children, his wife, and you, babes!
We will not delve into the sin and infidelity of it all, but my main concern is that we never really talk about how being a side chick is a really heavy cross to bear. It is a deeply personal and emotional decision that you have made to put your heart on the line. You may not be in it for the titles but your role in his situation is a tough one – especially on your emotional health and self-confidence.
I know right now you feel invincible in that bubble you’ve built, but the reality is that being a side chick hurts. You are focused on your current gratification but at what cost? Being in that position can lead you to carry some serious trust issues in your future relationships, and for what? A serial cheater?
It may all seem like roses right now, but for how long? Don’t willingly set yourself up to be a flop, not if it will cost you your mental health in the future.
The consequences are too many, so get out of that man’s marriage. I am not one to believe in fairy tales but something better for you can be out there – but you are blinded by Dr Unavailable Bae. You deserve better. Love yourself enough to let go of that fantasy now.
ALSO READ: Liewe Lulu: ‘My boyfriend is stingy’
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Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
