Spoiled Princess from Johannesburg writes…
Liewe Lulu
I finally met a great guy. I am a nurse (30), and he is working towards his PhD. He is tall, in his 40s, funny and brilliant, with a great salary, a massive house and owns some land that he inherited from his grandparents. When we first started dating he said he didn’t want to take me out for dinners and coffees because he wanted to be alone with me.
Our dates usually involved us sitting on my couch and watching Netflix and ordering in food. He recently invited me to his house and said he would like to cook dinner for me. I swear I got the shock of my life when I saw his old run-down furniture and the two flattened sleeping pillows and old bedding in his room. He also doesn’t have internet but connects to mine the moment he sets foot into my apartment.
For my birthday he bought me one of those shower hanger things you hang over the door because he said it was practical. I can enjoy myself at my own expense because I am an independent woman. But I want to be spoiled. It’s exhausting being a strong woman, I want some ease and I want the princess treatment.
I have tried to talk to him about the pleasures in life that are worth paying for, but he doesn’t want to make any changes. He has asked me to sleepover, but I refuse to lay my head on that bedding. Am I wrong? Is it too much for me to ask for a just one night a week out?
My dearest Spoiled Princess
Liewe Lulu loves to save money and is frugal with her pennies but dammit, your Professor Stingy is a proper Ebenezer Scrooge.
It sounds like you are starting to realise that you are worth much more than what your stingy boo has to offer and unless some miracle occurs, the case is once a tight ass, always a tight ass.
I cannot even begin to imagine what he would be like as a husband, or a father? What am I even saying he probably wouldn’t spend the sperm to make this possible!
The horror.
No relationship thrives without sharing and this goes beyond the things that you can see, touch, or even feel.
Partners need to be able to give each other complimentary amounts of effort, respect, attention, love, affection and of course, material things they can afford.
What you have now is as good as you are ever going to get. Even if you do talk to him and communicate your needs he will do the bare minimum, trick you into thinking he has changed and revert right back to his penny-pinching ways. Being stingy is a lifestyle, it is his brand, and you will either have to accept it or move on babes.
The person you really need to be having a conversation with is you. Ask yourself if you want to be with someone who doesn’t think you are worth spending on? Do you want to be with someone who makes you feel guilty for wanting more? Do you want to feel like you are walking on eggshells when it comes to the money subject?
You save lives. You are young. Unless you want to live an “unlived life” run. Princess treatment is on you from now on until you find somebody’s son who will give you the world and more.
Also read: Liewe Lulu: ‘My boyfriend smells a bit funny down there’
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Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.
