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Health For Mzansi

Liewe Lulu: ‘I’m infatuated with another man’

Every week Liewe Lulu will offer up her shoulder to cry on as she answers letters flooding in from across Mzansi. No issue is too small or too big, the no-holds-barred agony aunt has got plenty of tissues

by Noluthando Ngcakani
13th January 2023
in Liewe Lulu
Reading Time: 3 mins read
A A
Liewe Lulu: 'I'm infatuated with another man'

A wandering wife wonders if it is appropriate to tell her husband's bestie her true feelings. Heck no says Liewe Lulu to the married nurse with a wandering eye. Photo: Health For Mzansi

Nurse Crushed from Mahikeng writes…

Liewe Lulu….

I think I might have a crush on my husband’s friend. Day and night *Kgotso stays on my mind Lulz. We are both nurses and used to work in the same public hospitals. I have wanted to tell him how I feel for years but just cannot bring myself to confess. I got a new job at a private hospital where he moonlights every month.

Every time we sit and chat I cannot help but laugh at all of his jokes and feel this electricity when he grazes my arm. We have very deep chats but I have not told him how I feel. I think he can tell, because he gives me this look man. I have been feeling this way for three years and have been married for eight years. When I am on my way home I can’t help but wish that he was with me. I hurry to get to work hoping I will see him there. I have been having fantasies about him in bed too.

I am considering messaging him and confessing all of my feelings. I have never thought about my husband this way.

My husband and I have been experiencing problems. We have tried counselling. I love him but we fight constantly and it is such a mission for me to feel excited about going home anymore. Please give me some advice on what to do. Do I confess my feelings to Kgotso and leave my husband?

Dear Nurse Crushed

Yho Darlie brieka please! Nowhere in your letter do you mention if this Kgotsi has even reciprocated your feelings.

If you contact him, what exactly will you tell him? That you love him? That you have had completely inappropriate thoughts about him sexually?

You are going to blow up your whole life over what? Lust?

In My Feelings Having A Moment GIF by MOODMAN - Find & Share on GIPHY

I mean God forbid you go and tell Kgotso how you feel and he doesn’t feel the same? JUMPSCARE. It would be embarrassing. And if he does feel the same, do you want to bring such hurt to another person? Your husband will be devastated.

It sometimes happens in marriage that the excitement dies down after a few years. That is when we become susceptible to outside influences and start thinking that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Let me give it to you straight – it is not!

Instead of hyper-fixating your feeling of lust, I think your time and energy should be directed towards figuring out exactly when the spark in your marriage started to dwindle. Focus on fixing your marriage because if you continue on this path, you are going to lose your husband.

The next time you have inappropriate naughty dreams about Kgotso, I beg of you, switch to another channel babes.

Write to Liewe Lulu

Liewe Lulu is Health For Mzansi’s agony aunty. The content in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical and/or psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition.

ALSO READ: Liewe Lulu: ‘Help, my boyfriend is a cheater’

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Tags: Agony auntLiewe LuluRelationship advice
Noluthando Ngcakani

Noluthando Ngcakani

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HIV and initiation: Supporting boys through cultural rites Security fails as gangs target Eastern Cape clinics Dr Makanya blends spiritual healing with art therapy Canola oil: A heart-healthy choice for your kitchen No more pain! Tackle the torment of toothaches How smoking causes harmful bacteria in your mouth Discover delicious, healthy dishes that will make your heart sing Rediscover the joy of creamy pap with chicken livers