Negative thoughts can creep in like unwelcome guests in our minds, whispering thoughts of doubt, insecurity, and fear. And if you don’t find help or deal with the cause, it can have a devastating impact on your life.
Nina Moletsane from Cape Town shares her silent struggles with negative thoughts, revealing how they stem from self-doubt and worry about the future. She says she also obsesses over her past mistakes and choices and how they have shaped her life today.
“Negative thoughts make me think about how my life would’ve been better. I feel inadequate, depressed, stressed out, and hopeless.”
“They impact how I make decisions. I don’t think things through sometimes because I’m trying to get over this negative slump to make myself feel better sooner rather than later.”
Nina Moletsane
To cope, Moletsane turns to prayer, confiding in her best friends, and exercising regularly to boost her endorphins.
“Sadly, therapy is so expensive and inaccessible and everyone needs someone to talk to. The best way I have learned to help myself is to learn how to regulate my emotions,” Moletsane says.
‘It destroyed my self-esteem’
Siphokazi Khumalo from Pretoria shares how negative thoughts have destroyed her self-esteem and led her to depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.
“I had a pathetic childhood. Therefore, my brain is just wired to think all things negative because that’s what my life has revolved around. I barely ever think positively. The negative thoughts make me feel weak and like a loser.”
“I have a daughter and a son. That’s how I cope. Without them, I’d be gone. I survive and try to ignore negative thoughts each day because it’s not about me anymore.”
For Ayanda Biyela from Soweto, the root of negative thoughts often stems from the absence of a supportive environment.
“Negative thoughts come from not having that one person to remind me that I’m enough and doing good or that they are proud of me, and at times, from social media.”
Ayanda Biyela
“Negative thoughts affect me in a way that I cannot be productive, so I need to think of one thing or do that one thing that will make me feel better about myself, like listening to music or writing an idea down tricks my mind into thinking I have accomplished something, and as a result, I have a positive outlook.”
Nicodemus Bopape, a registered counsellor in private practice, describes negative thoughts as patterns of thinking characterised by pessimism, self-doubt, and a general focus on adverse outcomes or aspects of life.
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‘I’m not good enough’
The Pretoria-based counsellor explains that they often involve self-criticism (“I’m not good enough”), catastrophising (“Everything will go wrong”), and overgeneralisation (“I failed once, so I’ll always fail”).
“Negative thoughts become a health issue when they are persistent, intense, and interfere with daily functioning. This can lead to or exacerbate mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, chronic stress, and low self-esteem.”
“Persistent negative thinking can also lead to physical health issues like insomnia, hypertension, and a weakened immune response.”
According to Bopape, several factors contribute to the development of negative thoughts. These include stress and anxiety, past trauma, environmental factors such as toxic environments, whether at work, home, or socially, certain thinking patterns, mental health disorders, a lack of self-esteem, and social and cultural influences.
Managing negative thoughts
Bopane suggests several strategies to challenge and manage negative thoughts, such as:
- Cognitive behavioural therapy: This therapeutic approach helps identify and reframe negative thinking patterns.
- Mindfulness and meditation: Practices like mindfulness can increase awareness of negative thoughts and help reduce their impact.
- Journaling: Writing down negative thoughts and analysing them can help in recognising irrational patterns and finding positive alternatives.
- Positive self-talk: Replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations or rational responses.
- Exercise: Physical activity can reduce stress and improve mood.
- Professional help: Seeking guidance from a mental health professional for persistent negative thoughts.
“Incorporating positive affirmations daily can help shift focus from negative to positive thinking.”
Counsellor Nicodemus Bopape
Ways to to incorporate positive affirmations include:
- A morning routine: Start the day with a set of positive affirmations.
- Visual reminders: Place affirmations on mirrors, desks, or as phone reminders.
- Consistency: Repeat affirmations daily to build a habit.
- Personalisation: Tailor affirmations to address specific negative thoughts or challenges.
- Meditation: Include affirmations in meditation or mindfulness practices.
- Gratitude journal: Write down things you are grateful for each day, incorporating affirmations about yourself and your life.
Understanding and managing negative thoughts is a continuous process. It’s important to be patient and kind to oneself during this journey.
LISTEN: Podcast: Suffering from depression? You’re not alone!
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