Fatherhood is more than bills and basics – it’s being truly present. It’s knowing your child’s fears, dreams, and what makes them feel safe. It’s showing up, through the quiet moments and the chaos. In Mzansi, however, especially in black communities, fatherhood is often reduced to providing for school fees or winter clothes.
But what if it meant attending school meetings, taking your child to clinics, buying sanitary products for your daughter, and supporting them through umgowo (going through stress)? Fatherhood is a journey of being there, fully.
Fatherhood matters
At the launch of the State of South Africa’s Fathers 2024 report at Stellenbosch University, stakeholders – including Sonke Gender Justice, Equimundo, the University of Cape Town, the Africa Health Research Institute, Stellenbosch University, and the Sesame workshop – gathered to tackle what being utata (father) means in a child’s life.
Professor Kopano Ratele from Stellenbosch University told Health For Mzansi that The State of South Africa’s Fathers is the flagship project of Tataokhona.
“Meaning ‘the father who is present,’ Tataokhona is a collaborative endeavour envisioned to be a national platform for research, practice-based learning, and exchanges related to work on fathers and fatherhood,” he said.
“The goal of Tataokhona is to contribute to a full and nuanced understanding of fathers and fatherhood, as well as to support men who are or want to be fathers toward becoming involved fathers.”
Kopano Ratele
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The need for emotional connection
In Mzansi, many children are born outside of marriage, which can lead to a higher likelihood of fathers not being involved in their children’s lives, said Jean-Marie Nkurunziza, a MenCare regional programme specialist with Sonke Gender Justice.
He explained that traditional notions of masculinity and fatherhood in South Africa may emphasise providing financially over being emotionally involved or present in daily life.
“Fathers may not have access to resources, support, or guidance on how to be involved in their children’s lives, particularly if they are not living with the child’s mother.”
Jean-Marie Nkurunziza
“It’s crucial to acknowledge that not all children living with their fathers are safe or happy and that some may be experiencing abuse or neglect,” he added.
To address this, he said, communities need to create a society that promotes positive, non-violent, and nurturing fatherhood while holding fathers accountable for their actions.
Nkurunziza said Sonke Gender Justice is working to challenge societal norms that emphasise men’s toughness and stoicism, and instead promote a more nuanced understanding of masculinity that allows men to express vulnerability and emotion.
Building stronger families
Dr Onyinye Nwaneni, the managing director for the South Africa Sesame workshop, shared that through the campaigns done by their organisation on fatherhood, participants engaged more, and male caregivers spent more time playing with their children.
She said, “These findings suggest that the intervention contributed to fostering more active and involved father-child interactions.”
Nwaneni noted that this benefits not only fathers and children but ultimately mothers, who traditionally carry the burden of care alone.
“When fathers are more engaged, children tend to have better emotional health, perform better academically, and develop more robust social skills – a sentiment strongly supported by the Sosaf (State of South Africa’s Fathers) findings.”
Dr Onyinye Nwaneri
Nwaneni also highlighted that connecting children indirectly into fatherhood campaigns through the child-facing television show Takalani Sesame showed statistically significant positive results.
These findings indicate that:
- Children spent more time engaging in guided play activities with fathers,
- They demonstrated a change in autonomy for play choices regardless of gender,
- Showed changes in descriptive stereotypes for boys and girls.
The power of positive fatherhood
Terence Mentor, known as Afrodaddy on social media, said he believes that across the board, economically, men don’t have many examples of progressive, engaged, and positive father figures.
He explained that it is rare to see fathers celebrated in the media and in the spaces they should be, which makes it difficult for other fathers to fully embrace their roles.
“I hate comparing mums to dads because we know mums have a really tough time, so it’s not a comparison. But if you look at the kind of stories we tell about mums, we talk about those who had a tough time and the stories of mums who’ve overcome difficulties to become even better mums, and those stories aren’t really told about fathers.”
He further explained that good dads are rarely talked about.
“We don’t tell these stories in modern media in a way that portrays them as heroes.”
Afrodaddy shared that, for him, placing fatherhood positively in the public eye has become a way of making the world a better place in his own small way.
“I feel like there’s so much negativity going on in the world, and if it’s possible to use my experience to help someone feel good about themselves or feel better, or to help a dad feel more confident in a way that will make his family feel safer and more secure, then that’s why I do it.”
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